The Difference Between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump Using Social Media

Cruz Tweets:  My friends, please click here for a special message about what happened today.

*clicks link*

Page opens to Cruz2016.com with a long intro to a YouTube video that isn’t the transcript.  

Skims over the intro.  Hits start button.

“My fellow Americans, today is a day when we must all stand up together as one nation..”

Skip forward.

“. .As when James Madison once remarked in the during the drafting of the Declaration of Independance. .”

Skips again.

“. .  Which is why we all need gather as fellow brother and sisters of America. .”  

Skips again.

“. . For Harambe!   Thank you and God Bless America!”

And now Trump tweets out:  #DO4H

Your party of your friend that queefs

It's a hard question for a lot of republicans. It feels like we've been on the same side forever. A couple times you see this:

Harambe.


What did 4chan have to say?

Wow. Wow. Murder, death, and kill. My copilot and I have been playing old Xbox 360 games. Humans have automatic guns in the future. We should probably think about it. This evening, we are adding a new dude who never read http://turtleboysports.com/

When we get it all lubed, this will be amazing.

New Years

Happy New Years. I felt nude for a few hours today.  It certainly gave me some time to think. I thought about all my poor friends and how rich I am. I also thought about how I see the Lex's parents only four times a year. When my dad cries as I leave the driveway, I can only assume he is going to miss me and that I will crash my car.

I know I am not supposed to be a nice guy and my writing should make you feel bad about yourself. However, to all you homeless assholes who can still remember the faces of your fathers, happy new year. I think you all still have a place and, my god, your mom tastes like the ocean.

~Lex